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[madgoddess]

you call upon Quintessa, the Prime of Life "Whether you are a creation of mine or not, you are welcome here..." ( . audio | video | text | action . )

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[madgoddess]

You need not apologize for airing your thoughts, Tech; I am pleased you are comfortable enough to do so with me.

Your confusion is not only understandable, but to be expected. I do not say this as a criticsm of your making, but your origin cheated you greatly of something which is vital to most living species. What you see as something gifted to you — a defined, concrete purpose from your inception — is in fact a burden you are carrying through no fault of your own.

This ascription of function means that you did not develop the need to question yourself, your place in the world. So now, when you are faced with questions that are making you unsure, you are in fact going through what most others do.

In a way, you are more human now than you were before you gained this new form.

[tech_nically]

No, I understand that. I know that as soldiers, engineered soldiers, we were never given nor expected to do anything more than what we were created for, and we are only fortunate when we encounter those who are willing to look at us as people and not purely as an asset. And then we discovered that clones have been chipped, 'programmed' to follow orders well into a new regimen once the one we had been fighting for was replaced.

...that is neither here nor now, of course. But in part I must wonder, how is becoming this any different? Have I been placed to fill another role?

The Quetzalkin that came back with us. She said her family tended to temples to the Phoenix. A god their people believed would come to save them. When...she saw me, she became upset, angry. I could not understand why, I still don't understand even after she'd explained.

[madgoddess]

Would you tell me about her explanation?

[tech_nically]

She said that I am that Phoenix. That I'm supposed to be a Guardian of her people who rose when needed most, to give them hope. Whatever befell the Quetzalkin homeworld, they believed their god would come to save them. It seems it has been a century since that time, so... she was probably justified in her sentiments when she first saw me, but at least she apologized. But she was also surprised when I told her I was not always a Quetzalkin.

[madgoddess]

Those who feel abandoned of hope will see it where they can, Tech — whether it exists there or not. That is not a reflection on you.

[tech_nically]

...I know. I know. But I don't think I've been given such a form nor such power without cause. Perhaps it could have been anyone, but in this instance, it's me. ...so...if there is some greater call...

[Then it's his responsibility, isn't it?]

[madgoddess]

Has anyone asked you what you want? Not what is expected of you nor destined of you, but what you desire for your own self? Your life has been marred by losses of agency... no one would begrudge you the chance to put yourself first for once.

[tech_nically]

....

No. Never. ...and yet, I don't think I know what my answer would be.

[madgoddess]

[ gently: ] Then perhaps that is the question you need to ponder first, for your own peace.

[tech_nically]

Perhaps...

[He falls silent. Where does one even start? It's a lot to ponder, and he knows it's not something that might come instantaneously. But...it is a direction.]

...thank you, Quintessa. I have much to think about.

[madgoddess]

Of course. You deserve to be happy, Tech.